


Slipping off a Building

by HelpANerd



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, M/M, Michael is squipped, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, kind of, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelpANerd/pseuds/HelpANerd
Summary: Michael has been squipped since the play, but has been hiding it away. Attempting to pretend everything is completely and utterly normal. His sleeping schedule and eating habits have been disrupted as he tries to ignore the constant voice in his head trying to bring him down through various forms of mockery. Most people just assumed his behavior was the expected aftermath after he saw and saved everyone from their own squip.I don't know how often this will update. This was the result of me practicing my writing and listening to the soundtrack.





	1. Slipping

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy, maybe?

Michael woke up with a jolt, tears streaming down his face as he took a shaky breath in. He knew if he looked up he would see a zombie, his Squip that he had been cursed with since the play. He kept his eyes down on his bed, trying to regulate his breathing before reaching for his glasses.

 _“Michael Mell, have sweet dreams did you?”_ the zombie mocked as the tanned boy put on his glasses. The teen flicked him off as he got up heading towards the shower, he needed to pick up Jeremy this morning for school. _“Still think you can tolerate me?”_ the AI questioned, following him into the bathroom. 

The brown haired boy glared at him before shutting the curtain of the shower, “Stay out here you pervert,” he replied, outload. _“Please I’m in your head. It’s not like I don’t know what you look like.”_ The teen let out a groan “Shut up,” he muttered. He heard laughing and he knew today was going to be a long day of pretending. The other students were free and he was out of mountain dew red. He couldn’t burden them with this, he was on his own. He could deal with this super computer, it couldn’t take control of him or shock him like it did Jeremy. It could just mock him and give him nightmares. It wasn’t like it was anything new in his life with all the past bullying. He went to get dressed, putting on his red hoodie with the various patches sewn on. He then applied make-up over the bags under his eyes, he had to keep up this game. 

_“Oh, that’s really your color,”_ he heard the Squip say its voice turning to Brooke’s for a moment. Michael ignored him and trudged down the stairs, not grabbing anything to eat. He wasn’t hungry after the dream that the super computer crafted so lovingly for him. _“You can’t ignore me forever Mell.”_ He heard over his shoes crunching in the snow before he got into his PT cruiser and started it. He crossed his arms on the wheel and stared forward, not bothering to get out of the vehicle as it warmed up. He let out a sigh, his breath making a small puff in the air as his cheeks and nose started to turn red. His body went slack as the car slowly warmed up, his eyes focused on nothing. His body ached from exhaustion, he checked the time, he’d be early if he left now. He slipped on his headphones, Marely reaching his ears as his lips made a small smile. He’d have to get chilled out if he didn’t want his player two to ask any questions. _“You know they’re going to figure you out. Their little hero not even able to save himself.”_ His tormentor chimed, but the teen just kept his relaxed smile that didn’t reach his tired eyes, removed his headphones and drove to Jeremy’s house. He honked the horn to the Super Mario theme, smiling widely and laughing slightly as the tall, skinny boy ran out of the house to his car. _“You sure know how to be annoying,”_ the squip commented as Jeremy got into the passenger’s seat. 

“You’re going to wake up the whole neighborhood.” Jeremy said with a small laugh before lightly punching the darker skinned boy in the arm.

“It’s a lovely day, they should be thankful for me bringing them up into the day.” He replied with a smile, the figure in his head laughing and whispered _“Like I do to you?”_ Causing the smile to twitch slightly.

“I guess you’re right.” The skinner boy said, putting his backpack near his feet. “You’re early today though, what’s up?” he asked, noticing how his friend’s smile became strained.

“Just excited to start the day. I had the best dreams ever dreamed in the universe. It can only mean good things my dude.” He said, looking forward as he started driving. _“My my my, how skilled you’ve become at lying through your teeth.”_ His hands gripped the wheel tighter, his fake smile staying in place. He didn’t see the expression that Jeremy made, but the tone of voice made it obvious, he didn’t believe him.

“Listen, I know I messed up massively a couple months ago, but you know you can talk to me right? I’m never going to leave you high and dry again.” He said _“So he says, really, he’s just staying until something better comes along.”_ The squipped teen swallowed.

“Yeah, of course I know.” He replied glancing over at him. “After all, you’ve made it clear I’m your favowrite person.” He said in a teasing voice, feeling the glare on him before cracking up laughing. It was easier to ignore the constant taunting when he was around his best friend, after all he unwittingly proved the damned super computer wrong more than once. However, he knew how scarred the boy was from the Squip. He couldn’t bring it up, not in a hundred years. It would spook him and he wouldn’t be able to stand seeing the pale boy afraid for his own sanity. 

“Seriously, something’s been bothering you for a while. I figured it was because you didn’t trust me. But… I think it’s been too long for that.” he said, Michael glancing over to see him pouting and crossing his arms. He sounded worried. Great.

“Jere, I’m okay, I promise. Just… Haven’t been sleeping well is all.” He said, taking a hand off the wheel to pat him on the shoulder. _“You’re starting to slip.”_ He retracted his hand, putting it back on the wheel. His fingers tapping on the wheel as he turned into the parking lot. He heard a sigh and looked back over at the blue eyed boy. His eyebrows were drawn together and his lip still out in a slight pout. But that wasn’t the scary part, his eyes were narrowed and dissecting the red hooded teen. He then whipped his head around and exited the vehicle before the other teen could shut it off. 

“I’ll be around when you’re ready to talk.” He said, grabbing his backpack as Michael got out of the cruiser. His stomach dropped as he looked at the retreating form with Boyf written on his pack. The squip was right, he was slipping. He swallowed thickly for the second time today and went to run to catch up.

“Thanks buddy.” He said with a small smile, hoping to put him at ease at least a bit “Hey, speaking of talking, how are you and Christine getting along?” he asked with a small smile. _“I’m sure they’re getting along swimmingly. Enjoying every moment of ripping your heart apart.”_ He hid a flinch as he heard the sound of ripping paper that came with that quip. He watched as Jeremy’s mouth shifted into a smile and his eyes became twinkling stars. One of his thin, pale hands grasped onto the red hoodie to pull him closer.  
“Fantastic! Our latest date ended with a kiss. A kiss! Can you believe it? And it set off a bunch of fireworks. I’m telling you…” he cut off his excited blabber, sending the boy a sidelong glance and going silent for a moment. “You’re not off the hook.” He stated firmly, Michael having to cover his mouth as he laughed in repose. It sounded forced even to his own ears. Jeremy seemed to notice, let go of the hoodie, and slung an arm around him. “It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk, or even if you can’t talk to me. Just talk to someone, get it off your chest, get help if you need it,” he said, bringing him into his side as they walked. Michael was silent for a moment, letting his eyes drift over to the cardigan wearing boy. _“Go ahead, tell him how fucked you really are.”_ He shut his eyes tightly, and let his shoulders drop, they had stopped walking. “Seriously, what’s going on? Can I help?” the taller teen asked, looking down at him, his eyebrows bunched together and his eyes wide with worry. 

“Jeremy… Can you PLEASE just distract me? I’m begging you.” He replied, looking up at him with wide eyes, his lip quivering. “Please, I can’t do this right now, on no sleep and… Just… Please.” He added, his hands going to his shoulders, his voice shaking as his hands tightly gripped his hoodie. “I don’t need to think of how fucked up this is right now.” He added, looking up into blue eyes. _“Like you’re able to think of anything else.”_ His hands tightened on his shoulders some, letting out a grimace. He felt slender arms wrap around him, he nodded, before linking their arms and going to head inside.

“Sure, I can do that. Just know that I’m worried about you.” Jeremy said with a small smile, his voice quiet and gentle. _“He’s just saying that. He doesn’t really care. You’re just being a burden.”_ Michael took in a breath, released it, and returned the small smile.

“Thanks.” He replied as Jeremy glanced down at him. “So, want to come over after school?” he asked, not returning to the Christine subject. _“Like he would enjoy more of your company then necessary. You’re just a convenient ride,”_ his hand held onto his i-pod, in his hoodie pocket, a bit tighter at that comment. However, it soon loosened as he noticed the taller teen’s smile widen. 

“Yeah, of course, we can get some good gaming in,” he chimed, before unlinking their arms and going for the more comfortable option of putting his arm around Michael’s shoulders. Linking arms had been getting awkward with the two having a head difference in height. However, the chunkier of the two felt his heart give a quick jump intentionally, glancing up at him as they continued to walk. He knew it meant nothing _“Of course it does, you haven’t even told him you like dick,”_ and the nice gesture was ruined as he felt his face heat up slightly at that comment. He looked away from Jeremy and adjusted his backpack while he wondered if the AI really needed to phrase his sexuality in such a manner. _“What, too much of a pussy to accept my words of wisdom?”_ He shook his head slightly as the arm was removed from his shoulders “See you at lunch.” The blue eyed boy said as he went to his locker, leaving Michael at his that was decorated with stickers of his favorite games. He turned towards it and put in his combo, opened it and grabbed the books he would need for class. 

The day passed in a blur, as the boy fought to stay awake, making it to lunch and not even bothering to stop at the seven-eleven. His stomach empty and his eyes heavy he settled down at a table, put his headphones on, and rested his arms and head on the table causing his glasses to become tilted on his face. He felt a hand touch his back and he lifted his head slightly to look at Jeremy. 

“You look like shit.” He said, before sitting beside him, Christine was right beside him. 

“Have you gotten anything to eat?” she asked, the hooded teen gave a shrug 

“Not hungry dudes.” He replied, tapping his fingers on the table as he straightened his poster, the volume on his earphones low enough to where he could still hear them. He removed them with a sigh and looked over at the two. The other teen looked at him skeptically before turning to Christine.

“Think you could do a quick run and get him a slushie at least, he looks like he’s becoming a zombie,” he told her quietly as Michael did a small scoff, his own zombie lingering in the corner of his vision. The small girl gave a nod and got up, going to leave her lunch momentarily to get the poor boy some food.  
“Of course, be back soon,” she said with a small smile, concern shown blatantly on her own features.

“You don’t have to,” the shorter boy said, but she simply shot him a smile and a wink. He let out a small defeated sigh. 

“We’re not going to let you starve,” Jeremy replied, poking his friend in the side. _“It would be easier if they did, wouldn’t it? After all, you wouldn’t be able to hear me then,”_ Michael’s breath caught in his throat, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. He felt the slim hands adjust his currently crooked glasses and his eyes focused on his friend again. He didn’t ask him if he was alright having already established he wasn’t, the pale face showing nothing but concern. _“Look what you’re doing. Causing nothing but trouble,”_ the larger teen swallowed and gave a small smile.

“Yeah, can’t have me turning to skin and bones like you,” he said with a strained laugh, his hands sinking into his hoodie to tightly grab his arms. He got a small smile in return “I’ll have to pay Christine back for this you know,” he mentioned. His words were turning to mumblings, shrugging his shoulders slightly. He heard the Squip laughing and flinched slightly, he was so tired.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll cover it,” Jeremy assured, but the other teen only heard part of it, as his world blurred and tilted before it went black.


	2. Waking up to a Blur

Michael heard murmuring as he opened his eyes being greeted with nothing but a blur of white and black. He blinked a couple of times, waiting for his eyes to adjust as his heart pounded in his chest. He moved his hand to the surface he was on, finding covers and a plush surface, a bed then. He shifted his head to the side a blue-green entering his vision with darker, vertical patches. A curtain perhaps. _“Man you’re being slow,”_ he jumped slightly before letting out a sigh. Right, his zombie companion who was now bent over him. He could clearly see the rotting flesh, the eye hanging out of the eye socket and the glare fixed right on him. The teen took in a breath, the squip was as crisp as an image from an HD TV. 

“Where am I?” he asked quietly, only getting an eye roll in response. _“What, can’t piece it together by yourself?”_ he was asked as he lightly held his arms. He closed his eyes with a sigh before opening them again and going to sit up. Glasses, those were the first priority. _“Don’t know how you’re going to find those. You might as well be blind,”_ he groaned in response, his world swirling momentarily. His head felt like it was flouting, he heard the voices getting closer, one he was able to pick out as Jeremy. He brought his knees up and hugged them to his chest as his stomach rolled, he rested his head on his knees. _“I don’t think you’ve ever felt this bad, and that’s including your run-in with the roller-coaster. Looks like I get a point,”_ the boy hugged his knees tighter and hid his face into his knees.

“Michael? Hey, you kinda fainted during lunch, you’re in the nurse’s office,” he heard his friend say as he felt the bed shift and one of those slender hands rest on his back. 

“Where are my glasses?” he asked his words slurring, his tongue felt like lead. _“Probably left in pieces, just like all your relationships will be when they get a full dose of your awful personality.”_

“Oh, right, sorry,” the slender boy said with a nervous laugh, the bed shifting again as the teen got up. He listened to the footsteps of his best friend, taking in slow breaths and releasing them “Here, hold out your hand,” he told the visually challenged teen. Michael held out his hand, feeling the familiar shape of his glasses being pressed into it. He lifted his head and slipped them on, taking in the nurse’s office as the shapes came into focus. “How are you feeling?” Jeremy asked, his voice was quiet and worried. It seemed like that was all the darker teen could get him to feel today. 

“Fine,” he croaked, the slim teen shaking his head in response, his eyes looking him up and down. _“He’s getting smarter. Too bad for you,”_ he moved his hands to the bed and stretched out his legs before shifting them to hang over the bed.

“Give me your keys,” the blue eyed boy said, reaching out his hand towards him. Brown eyes widened and made eye contact with blue. The freckled boy had his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes were focused squarely on him, his mouth set in a line. The red hooded teen swallowed, that look meant there was no use arguing with him. He reached into his front pocket and handed it over to him as he watched the frown turn to a smile. “Think I can spend the night tonight?” he asked him, sitting beside a wide eyed Michael. 

The squips laughter rang in his ears, it sounded giddy as the teen’s heart sped up and his eyes went even wider. He bit his lip trying to quickly think of an excuse as to why he couldn’t, his mind blank. “Y-yeah, sure. I’m sure that’ll be fine,” he replied, grabbing his headphones from where they rested on top of his backpack. His heart trying to escape his ribcage _“Think you’ll wake up screaming tonight?”_ he needed some Marley right now. 

He felt an arm sling around him and his hand stopped mid reach as he looked back up into those intoxicating blue orbs and a small relieved smile. “Good, because I don’t trust you to drive anywhere currently,” he said, hugging him to his side before standing up. “Here, it’s melted but I think you need some sugar in you,” the skinny teen added, handing him a clear cup full of sugary blue liquid. Michael’s hands were slightly shaking before he went to start drinking it, his headphones left undisturbed. He could feel those lovely eyes on him, tracking him _“Wonder how much longer you have before he figures it out. Think he’ll tuck tail and run?”_ he put down the cup on the side table. 

“Shouldn’t you be at class?” he asked, keeping his brown eyes on his hands as they rested in his lap.

“The school day is over, you had us all really worried,” he replied, sitting beside him as he heard the chubbier teen take in a gasp.

“I was out for that long?” he questioned, looking back at the pale teen, he could feel his breathing speed up. A pressure raising up in his chest as his hands clasped his own wrists, the shaking that was going through his body intensifying. _“Did you really think you could keep going like you had been? Though it is too bad you didn’t crack your head open,”_ he felt a slender hand rub his back, the shaking calming down slightly.

“Yeah, you were, I do still have play rehearsal... But, I can probably skip it for a day. You know all of them are worried about you right? Brooke almost had a panic attack,” he told him, the shorter boy giving a nod, his arms wrapping around himself. “Let’s get you out of here and some food in your stomach,” he said, standing up right before Michael snatched his headphones and put them on. He quickly switched some Marley on with a shaky sigh, his hand tightly holding on to the i-pod as he slowly stood up and grabbed his backpack. His legs felt shaky, his friend took one of his arms and put it around him to help support him. They walked out to his PT Cruiser and got into the vehicle in opposite sides then the morning. Jeremy started it up as he let the squipped teen listen to his music before going to hook it up to the stereo. They let the music fill the car as the blue-eyed boy pulled in front of his house to grab some of his things to spend the night. 

While the other teen waited for him to get back he checked his phone, seeing that he had a text message from Brooke. He opened it to read it, being welcomed by the words ‘I am coming to your house after play rehearsal. I can’t believe you fainted! You poor soul. Oh, and don’t bother arguing, I’m coming over whether or not you like it. I’m worried sick over here,” his nose wrinkled slightly as he let out a small laugh. _“You have her in quite the frenzy. Think she’s just trying to get back with Jeremy through you?”_ his smile vanished his hand gripping the phone tighter. He shook his head before typing back to let her know he was okay with her coming and Jeremy would be spending the night. His eyebrows raised as he got a reply back almost immediately. ‘Okay, someone needs to keep an eye on you,’ he rolled his eyes with a small smile. He sent back a simple sure and pocketed his phone again as the cardigan teen came back to the car while yelling a goodbye to his father. He got back in the passenger’s seat and went towards Michael’s house. 

“Brooke wants to stop by,” he told him, the skinner teen giving a nervous smile. 

“Yeah, I figured she might. You really grew on her,” he replied with a small laugh, his hands tightening on the wheel slightly. _“My, look how nervous she makes him. Must’ve already thrown him through the ringer. Unlike you. But you make an excellent doormat,”_ the chubbier teen let out a sigh.  
“I thought you two were getting along,” he said, doing his best to ignore the voice in his brain.

“Well, yeah. More or less. But… I kinda got to see the momma bear side of her when I told her you were in the nurse’s office. She can be scary,” he replied, glancing over at him as the other teen let out a laugh. 

“You’re the one who dated her,” he commented _“While he left you behind, all alone. Wonder when it will happen again,”_ his hands went to his arms as he took in a breath.

“I did, _**but**_ , she was like a puppy, or a kitten. Not a… A werewolf,” the blue-eyed boy replied lifting one hand off the wheel momentarily to wave around his head before dropping it back down onto it. 

Laughter bubbled up from the brown-eyed teen “A were-wolf?” he questioned with a wide smile and a raised eyebrow, before being lightly elbowed in the side by his friend.

“Shut up, it’s all I could think of,” he said with a laugh of his own. _“I bet he would prefer if you never spoke,”_ the hooded teen’s fingers sank into his hoodie further, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again. The car turned to park in front of his house and he got out, grabbing his backpack on the way. His legs still felt shaky, he glanced over at the teen who took his keys earlier and was gathering all of his things. Michael took slow steps towards the porch before going to unlock the door to his house. He swung it open and trekked inside, setting down his vandalized pack that read ‘reind’ right next to it. Jeremy was right behind him and went to take his bags up the stairs, presumably to get them up to the squipped teen’s room. Michael let his eyes roam his own house before going towards the kitchen and opening the cabinets. _“Oh look, barebones. Your parents are probably hoping you starve. When was the last time they were home?”_ He reached up and grabbed a box of pasta, letting it slam on the counter. His eyes shifting over to glare at the zombie, his mouth setting in a straight line as he resisted the urge to grind his teeth. _“What? Hit a nerve?”_ the squip asked in a sing-song voice. He took a breath in and released it. If Jeremy wasn’t just upstairs, he swore he would’ve yelled at the apparition. He got out a pot and filled it up with water making sure his eyes only focused on the faucet in front of him. He heard quite steps come down the stairs, signaling his best friend coming back down. 

“Hey, what’s on the menu?” Jeremy asked, coming up beside him.

“Oh you know, a nice serving of mac and cheese. Quick and simple, no house will be burning down tonight,” the darker teen replied with a half-smile. 

The slimmer boy gave a slightly awkward smile and a simple “Right,” in response. _“Good work, you made him think of Halloween. Wonder how much he’s wishing you burned to death in that bathroom,”_ Michael adjusted his glasses, turning his head back to the water. This night was getting off on a great start. “So, what do you want to play today?” Jeremy asked him as he hopped up on the counter.

“I don’t know, we could play Apocalypse of the Damn if you wanted. It’s always a fun time,” he replied, his brown eyes glancing up at the other. 

“Think Brooke has improved at all?” he asked, leaning back and looking at the ceiling.

“You mean player three?” the shorter teen asked with a slight smirk, his eyes shifting up to the other as those blue eyes widened and he turned his attention completely to him with a slack jaw.

“No way, Christian is totally player three,” he objected, the other busting up laughing before it cut off abruptly by the squip so eloquently chiming in _“I bet he wished she was player one,”_ his smile became a bit strained and he let his eyes drift over to the water.

“Sorry man but as player one, I get to decide who is what player,” Michael said as the water started to boil. He poured the noodles in as he felt himself being closely inspected. Almost like he was a bacteria under a microscope. His shoulders tensed _“He’s figuring you out,”_ said the zombie, before laughter erupted from that rotting mouth.

“Hey, dude… You okay? Is anywhere hurting? Like your stomach or something?” Jeremy asked, the question ringing out in the air as the red hooded teen let his shoulders drop with relief.

“Yeah, my stomach does a bit,” he lied, stirring the elbow noodles in the pot. “Don’t worry about it though, I’m sure it’s just because I’m hungry,” he added. _“How long do you think you can really fool him? Or do you think he’s already figured it out and he’s just waiting for you to break?”_ he swallowed harshly. 

“Right, okay,” the blue-eyed boy mumbled, before he felt the back of those slender hands on his forehead. “Well, you don’t have a fever at any rate,” he said as the hand was removed as Michael felt his cheeks burn.

“Nope, all good,” the darker teen replied, the words tumbling out of his mouth as he gave his friend a thumbs-up and a half-smile. He went to strain the pasta, dumped it back in the pan and mixed in the cheese mixture that was provided in the box. “Well, soup’s on,” he chimed, hearing some friendly laughter.

“It’s clearly not soup,” the freckled teen replied with a snicker as he got plates down from the cupboards. Being able to reach them without standing on his toes, mind you. 

_“Too bad you weren’t blessed with long legs. Then again you’re hardly graceful,”_ the shorter teen sighed. “Man, what’s it like being able to reach things on the top shelf? Cause I will never know the wonderful feeling of knowing I’m not about to topple down with an armful of dishes,” he said with a small chuckle. 

“Ah, well at least you don’t have to deal with the different weather patterns up here,” he replied with a raised eyebrow, handing him a plate. “Now, the chief should get the honors of serving himself first,” he added, leaning on the counter slightly. The blue-eyes were tracking him again, and the darker teen couldn’t help but wonder if Jeremy was currently wondering if he had an eating disorder. He grabbed a serving spoon and got some pasta on his plate before sitting down to eat. The pale, freckled teen following suit. 

“Well, it’s not burnt, I would call that a success,” Michael said with a smile after eating a bite of his own meal, _“That is a surprising turn of events. I bet you even burn toast,”_ the voice in his head replied.

“Michael, what are you saying? You’re the better cook out of the two of us. You even managed to make homemade alfredo sauce once,” his friend pointed out with a shake of his head as he pointed at him with his fork.

“Are you sure that was me?” he asked, putting a finger to his chin and tapping it. Ignoring the churning in his stomach. He had to get this meal down, otherwise it would only result in more worry. Plus, he probably needed the substance unless he wanted to faint again. _“Oh, that would be fun. Yes, you should do that.”_

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he replied with a laugh, with a shake of his head. 

“Well okay, I guess that wasn’t a risk then,” Michael said with a snicker, before taking another bite. He briefly checked the time, Brooke would be arriving in an hour or two, they had time to finish eating and play a couple of maps on Apocalypse of the Damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's it hanging? It's been a while. Well good news is I got through all my classes and I enjoy writing this. But I'm not sure where I'll take it. So an update schedule is still up in the air. Anywho, let me know what you think! Getting feedback greatly motivates me and I really enjoy reading any and all comments given to me.


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